great sunday

I got up this morning and all I wanted to do was just to lie in.

Somehow I've taken up SH silly habit of lying in is just a little more time in bed than usual and I mean really just a little more. Long gone are the days of lying in means few hours more in bed! I don't know why I can't do it anymore?! I'm also waking up a few hours before the alarm goes off.

Anyways, I got up and then dragged myself to church. Contemplating all my way there - will I be late? Should I take the bus? Should I walk? Prance? Skip?

The deliberation was quite a waste of time anyways but I arrived at church just in time.

I try my very best to go to church as often as possible but situation will arise and excuses will be readily available.

While sitting on the pew I was thinking of how going to church back home was like routine. We will always go to church in two cars for some reason, somehow. Petrol was cheap - not! Probably we didn't understand conserving and the environment. And the time just idle away in church - worship, announcements, prayer, sermon/message, and then benediction. I know that there are times that the body is there but the mind is not. Sad but true.

Away from home, going to church really takes a different meaning. The effort of going to church is different from what we experience back home. There will always be distraction and excuses along the way. However, the time that I do go to church is always rewarding and I find that it is really meaningful to attend services. I am truly blessed in that way! While visiting my sister Suemae in Japan, we went to her church and that itself was a journey. It really shows that when you love God, you will go great lengths to please Him. Of course, I think SM didn't have much of a choice being assigned to a church in the heart of Tokyo. I think it was about one and half hour journey from the time she step out her door.

I reminisce my church serving days. Being a christian it is important that you serve, it is actually a commandment that you serve and I hardly do it now. I enjoy playing music and singing for God. The good looking guy was playing the guitar today. He sings very well too. I can remember the names of the rest of his family but not his, a little sad. Anyways, thats not the point.

The point is that because of serving in church by either playing the guitar or back up singing (I tried worship leading a few times), I had the opportunity to dabble with other musical instruments like bass guitar and drums. And my love for music grew at a greater rate during those time. I know I'm crap at the piano and dare not play that in church (not that I didn't try). Sometimes I feel as if by playing in church I will be miraculously bestowed the talent to play very well. It didn't happened as I envisaged but many in church inspired me to play even though I'm not the best musician around. I really miss those times.

Pastor Matthew's message on John 6 was appropriate for my contemplation today.

My afternoon was then spent in Seaton Park supporting James on his 50 mile bike ride round the park raising funds for his Tearfund trip to Rwanda this summer. Due to the weather and other reasons, he managed to complete 30 miles which was really good I would say. I don't think I could do that all in a day. We also had bbq in the park. We had to cover up the burn patch since it is not allowed to bbq on the grass.

It was a beautiful sunny day with strong breezes. Not long the wind brought in the gray coulds and rain/drizzle.

We then disperse and ended up going to Frances's flat to clean up the wash shed for Lisa's furniture - long story. It was good though. Nice people. They were from James's church. It was nice spending time with them. Weird but nice. Weird cos I didn't really know them and help out cleaning (possibly on a cleaning streak - cleaning other people's stuff). They did invite me to go watch Spidy (as Ning calls it) but I had to politely turn down cos SH and I are going to watch it. But boys will be boys. Given the chance to destroy, they will deliver.

All in all it was a day well spent.

I saw this really cool group of BMW bikes today. I wonder will I ever get a motorbike license and own my very own BMW superbike?

I do enjoy watching foreign films. Another reminiscing: watching foreign films in GSC Mid Valley. Not that I had watched a lot of foreign films there but I think foreign films seemed like art films to me, maybe cos I don't understand that much of the language.

Watching C.R.A.Z.Y. on Film Four just now. Its in Québécois French. So far so good, maybe because its foreign. ;P By the way, C.R.A.Z.Y. = Christian, Raymond, Antoine, Zac and Yvan.

It's driving me crazeee.... How do you stop a freezer from squeeking/buzzing?!

anxiety

Anxious... anxious...

Something is bothering me. Did I did it right? Was it good enough? Is it going to be okay? I want to know! I want it badly! Urrrgghh...

Anxious.. anxious...

Maybe it won't be that bad. I hate this period of waiting. Its not helping the anxiety. Urrggh...

Maybe it is A-okay. I shouldn't be so worried.

Anxious... anxious...

Is this meant to be?

Gosh!!!

Yeah, maybe it wouldn't be that bad.

The long walk to Manchurian did me some good. Gave me a lot of time thinking. It won't be that bad... I hope. Fingers and toes crossed.

Before I met Keith and Harry I was over anxious. Anxiety building up. I thought to myself, if SH can do it while he was miles away, I can do it too. Spoke to SH about it - we are the same, before: anxiety; after that okay: probably 'Just Do It!' Then I met Keith and Harry. They were really nice.

Anyways, had a good supper at Manchurian and just got back. Thought I let this off so that I can go to bed. Good food, good fellowship. Alcohol helps a little... Nah, not tonight, I was drinking quite sensibly. The karaoke helped. Did it? Hmmm... Note to self, better buck up on my chinese. Couldn't read half the words, hence can't sing most of it. Damn!

Keith will be here in less than five hours time. I think I will just sleep on the couch and have the duvet over my head. He will let himself in. Let me have a good lie in. Its been a while.

Anxious... anxious...

When will it go away? Give me good news pleeeaaassee...

Drink log: three double vodka orange

to son with love

Received a text from Son the other day, informing me that he was leaving and would like to meet up.

I was like 'what?' Okay... I did know that he was leaving but didn't realised it was so soon. How time flies!!

Son's from Hochimin City (Hanoi) on a government scholarship to complete a masters in Project Management. We (Yen, Tik Kai and I) were quite pleased on his arrival in our second semester as he was a new addition to the asian (or SEAsean) mates since the rest of our classmates were africans. So our 'gang' grew to four.

We had lots of group work together and activities that was supposed to be group work - like being entrusted to do group work but actually playing with snow.

Back to the gathering... we finally meet up with our other friends and have a great meal at Goulash. Have to get pics form Peggy. Its a really lovely restaurant - when we entered the restaurant it was like we were in a totally different country. The food was reasonably priced and the meal was good. The fellowship was even better!

Its a very small and cosy restaurant hidden in an alley. The place was run by one guy - from ordering to serving. His PR was really good. He most likely have a chef in the kitchen.

After the meal, we all dragged ourselves to the cinema to catch 'The Reaping'. I went watching without knowing what to expect and I think it was a really good movie. Am so looking forward to possibly 'The Reaping 2'. hmmm...

We had a great time that night and wish Son all the best in his future undertakings. Everyone is looking forward to a trip to Vietnam one day. And being Malaysians (the rest of our party of six), we wish Son well to become the PM (Prime Minister) of Vietnam and send his leer jet to pick us up with limo and police convoy on ground when we visit him!

Drink log: one third of a bottle of rosé

what is love?

We had one of the longest Rotaract meeting last night. And I remembered telling clearly to James that when I chair the meeting, it will be a short one since I normally try to finish it as soon as possible and not making it a drag. Well, I would say it was a very good meeting and I hope the rest didn't think it was a drag.

Anyways, after the meeting, the guys (Chris R and Emmanuel) and I stayed for a drink (which turned out to a few!) and we had quite an interesting chat. Amongst all that we had chatted, one topic that keep resurfacing was 'love'.

What is love?

To Emmanuel, love was this strong feeling that you have for each other. And he thinks that it does not take one long to know if they are in love or not. Our guy of love-at-first-sight-and-I-know-whether-I-love-you-or-not. I agree with him to a certain degree that you may know whether you love this one person or not in quite an early stage. But then again... it could be just attraction.

Chris believes that you need to spend a considerable time with someone before you know that you love that person. And you know you love that person when you want to spend the rest of your life together forever - not just five years or ten years.

As I listen to the guys debating each of their definition of love, I just can't stop wondering is there a 'right' definition of love? How do you know it is love and not infatuation?

A quick check up on infatuation and love provided some food for thought.

As for me? You can be attracted to someone in a matter of seconds, go through the stages of infatuation and when you accept the good as well as the bad of the person and know that no matter what, you would not want to change anything of that person, knowing that you want to spend the rest of your life together - that is love.

I don't think people are meant to be by themselves. That's why, if you actually find someone you care about it's important to let go of the little things. Even if you can't let go all the way. Because nothing sucks more than feeling all alone no matter how many people are around. ~ J.D. Scrubs 'My T.C.W.'

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8

The definition of love would be different for everyone, so what is yours - what is love?

Drink log: 3 pints of Guiness Extra Cold, 1 Irish Car Bomb

hot guyz

The other day we had some bobbies (police) coming to the desk asking to see the security guard for statements. After they left, the following conversation took place...

ennazus: Those guys are not too bad looking
Morvern: They are not good looking at all. (Before ennazus could say anything...) Maybe you think they look good because of their uniforms
ennazus: Yeaaah... I like men in uniform

Yup. I dare admit that I like men in uniform. I always feel that somehow butterfiles just appear in my stomach when I see men in uniform. hmm...

In fact I think guys are hot if they have/are in the following:

1. Men with facial hair: didn't realised I had this soft spot until my sister pointed it out that everytime I think a guy is good looking they have facial hair. My mom thinks 'wu shou lat thaat' (literally: moustache dirty, if my translation serves me right) Major soft spot: stubbles... oooer... Big turn off: thick thick beard and moustache, full face hair... eeeww...

2. Men who smell nice: There's this guy that stays in one of the flats above (I don't know who) but if I have to go to work early in the morning, I can smell 'him' in the hallways. At times I feel that my knees would just buckle there... No intention of finding out who he is. The mind is a powerful tool. Enough said!

3. Men who shave their head bald: I really don't know why but somehow I have this inclination towards it. Am wondering...

#updated 7th May#
4. Men who has a tan/dark guys: possibly due to the saying of tall, dark, handsome? Dark to the extend of tan but not darker than that.
##

But the above are mainly first impression or just physical admiration. Of coruse not every guy that fulfill the above can be considered hot he must have good looks too. But then again, all this are just a matter of preference. And it will definitely differ from one person to another.

Anyways, I do have my theory about good looking guys though:
A. They are single but not available ...or...
B. They are married ...or...
C. They are married with children ...or...
D. They are gay ...or...
E. They are dead

Speaking of which, I met this very good looking guy at church two weeks ago. *Siren wailing: eye candy!!!* but as my theory above, he is married to a beautiful woman with two really adorable sons. I met the family at work this week and Chic Chick thinks that they are too good to be true - perfect looking family.

Of course at the end of the day, I think that hot guys are only but eye candy and I'll just enjoy the scenery then... ;P

p.s.: My SH is hot! At least to me... hehehe...

drama princess

Today I realised that I could be a drama queen: I make a big deal out of nothing. I make a mountain out of a molehill.

So anyway, a quick check around and a quick test done, I am actually just a drama princess. I didn't think I would qualify as a drama queen anyways.

Wiktionary defines a drama queen as 'an exaggeratedly dramatic person'. Oooh.. guess that's why I am sooooooo expressive, huh?!

You Are a Drama Princess!!!

You're not over the top dramatic, but you have your moments. You know how to steal the spotlight... And how to act out to get your way. People around you know that you're good for a laugh. But at times, your drama gets a bit too much for everyone. Tone it down a tad, and you'll still be the center of attention.

Are You a Drama Queen (or King)?

Seriously! I think I need to control myself and not dramatise everything. It can be so unnecessarily stressful you know!

a good rest

Last night I stayed up late to watch one of Film 4's Films to See Before You Die - they were showing 'Kung Fu Hustle', even knowing that I have to wake up early to go to work.

Half way through the movie, I was like 'Huh? This is a film to see before you die?!'

Maybe it was the slapstick comedy. Maybe it was the morbid violence. Maybe it was the exaggeration. But somehow, the film didn't appeal to me.

Right, so not all movies are made for everyone. Overall it was ok. I might need to watch it a second time to appreciate it. At the moment its at borderline.

Working early mornings always give me this anxiety of waking up late to go to work. So I usually hardly have a good sleep the night before. I think if I have to wake up early everyday and it has become a routine, it may not be that bad after all.

Wait a minute... but then again, I remember having the radio alarm switched on an hour early, got Su-Anne to come and switch on the room light and if all else fails and I'm still stuck in bed, I get her to tell me that we are late. That always help: I will definitely jump out of bed. You say that why didn't I just get SA to say that we are late in the first instance? Well, for one she is too nice to do that, secondly, I will nag her to no end about it - telling me we're late when we are not. So it is really an achievement that I can wake up and be at work on time on my own accord. Wow!

Okay... so I still need at least an hour's notice for the first alarm to remind me to get up, I need my bed rolling time! Another 20 to 30 minutes to get ready (this considered as a very good allowance) and depending on where I am going, a certain time allocated for travelling.

The question of whether the place of sleep: be it the bed or my new place of sleep the couch, should it be a comfortable resting place or a not so comfortable one? My love of snuggling under the duvet on a cold morning does not help at the process of getting up let alone getting off the bed. Beds (including any place of sleep) should be comfortable enough to sleep and rest but uncomfortable enough to get off in the morning. I wonder how is this ever going to work?

In a total random thing. I heard a girl telling her guy friend that she was so surprised (in a good way) that her bf came over her place one night and presented her with a bottle of champers and box of chocolates because it was exactly a year since they met. She didn't even realised and remembered it. Aawwww...

She said, and I agree, that this kind of things normally remembered by the female party and not the male. I'm so happy for her.

Guys *hint* *hint*. I wonder if SH is reading this.. hehehee.. ;P