Tuesday 15 February 2011

the.light.shines

Now that we got all the unhappy part out of the way, I have some exciting news.

Twelve New Bakes

The last time I baked in 2010 felt like forever ago. And with the lack of guinea pigs willing volunteers, I was apprehensive producing home bakes. No point baking for wasting.

Then one weekend I made soda bread and then I thought "why not bake 12 things I have not make before"?


And so one of my new project to the To Do List 2011 will be "twelve new bakes".

One new thing a month, should be easy peasy right? Cupcakes, cakes and muffins of all variants should not be counted (because I have made them in the past), but I suspect I might bend the rules. So watch this space!

Scout Adult Training

I have started my Scout Adult Training last week, Module 1: Essential Training and another tonight, Module 3: Tools for the Job.

I will need to have a look at the whole programme and see how am I going to complete the 37 modules in three years to get my wood badge.

I’m really looking forward to this!

RICS APC

And on the note of training, I will have to touch on the dreaded APC Training.

Well, it is unfair to call it "dreaded", even though it is "dreaded" because it feels like it is taking forever. But I have only myself to blame.

Anyways, after going for my Adult Training Module 1 and see how easy it can be to complete a module, I was thinking, to make the APC work for me (and hopefully something I can devise and be useful for future candidates), I will need to break down the APC competencies into smaller modules and goals for me to achieve.

To do that, I will have to put aside time and sort myself out. Wish me luck and I hope to continue to blog about my APC again soon.


I will keep it short for now. Hopefully in the next few posts I will talk about my Scout involvement, my other projects or things that I have been doing. Do leave a comment so that I know that there is someone out there reading my rambles.

Btw, a wee update on my One Hundred Mails Project...
2-98 Birthday Card
3-97 Birthday Card
4-96 Birthday Card
5-95 30th Birthday Card

dealing.with.life

Many times I wished that the mind can do the blogging replacing the need to type things out. But until such ability exists I will just have to make time to write a post.

January 2011 has been a very challenging month for me. It was not the finances or the mood dip after the Christmas and New Year holidays, or void that my family left since their visit.

I would so love to indulge you with my woes but I will spare you the details.

All I know was that many times my secondary school Chemistry teacher's famous words of "don't ask and just accept" reminded me that is how life can be.

It was hard to accept the things that you are not convinced were necessary; or that you know was wrong; or that when you speak up it seems no one is listening. Those were the times when you wished you did not say anything. But then you (or in this case I) struggled.

I struggled because my mind was fighting with itself.

Do this, but it is not acceptable.

Don't do this, and you can't accept that decision or that is not how you work.


Is it better to be that person who just sit quietly there and show no emotions of agree or disagree? Which then makes that either this person does not care or the go with the flow person? And when he/she disappears from the scene everyone is shocked because he/she has been an OK-(wo)man? Or maybe no one even noticed?

Anyways, the constant fighting and (close to literally) head banging onto the wall drove my stress levels up and perhaps at some point I was depressed.

I don't know who to trust or who to say anything to. I even become sceptical about the support that is available. The ones that I lean on when I need them, they all seem so far away.

I was emotional, and I was mind and emotionally tired.

I was here but I wasn't here.

I was lost and would rather be away than facing reality.

Now, I am not sure how I manage to escape those thoughts at the moment. So far I am ok when I don't have to deal with certain situations or maybe even certain people. But you can only run so far and fight so much, eventually you will have to face it and deal with it.

As cliché as it sounds that it is all about "attitude", I would like a big spoonful of that to keep me going.

Until then, let me enjoy the low fighting days and thank you for your patience in this undoubtedly negative post.