Tuesday 31 July 2007

taking the bull by its horns

If life throws you a lemon
- make lemonade. (Joan Collins)

These two days had been a classic fretting and flapping days (what's new?). And as usual when things like this happens, I get absolutely, totally emotional. I guess I just hate what I don't know coming to me.

Fear. It is one of the biggest element in my life that I dare admit always hold me back. In whatever way possible.

Disappointment. This is another element that has been one big roadblock. Funnily now with my calm (exceptionally calm state) I can tell you this.

Being an expressive person, I do find problems expressing myself - many times. Yes, even expressive people have expression block (?).

I guess when you want to be diplomatic, when you don't want to cause unnecessary hurt to others (which most of the time is not required), when you know that it is not right to say or do something even though the other person doesn't know, when you know that it is wrong to even think about it, this is the kind of sticky situation you get it. Or the kind of sticky situation I get in.

Then I will struggle with myself. Kicking myself. Beating myself up. Until no end. Until a long time. Until... probably forever.

The only time I can be totally honest with someone, is when I know that that person can take it. That person is ready to get hold in whatever situation they can.

I'm not saying that I lie to people who I think they may not be able to take it. I know I may be wrong but this is my struggle. I don't want to hurt people as well. I don't lie to them but I just handle the situation differently.

Diplomacy. That's what I had been taught. It's not easy.

But I guess without diplomacy there will be war everywhere on the earth. Not that there isn't just now.

Anyways...

TS once told me that I'm disappointed with friends. I guess there is some element of truth in it.

Okay, there is quite a big element of truth in it.

Just because time and again I give the extra mile (whenever I can) I always expect others to do the same (it's just human nature). And when I don't get it, I flap my blaardie wings around, fret about, get all nonesensical emotional, which, most of the time doesn't solve any problems. Or situation, mind you!

But I'm glad, this morning after my usual dose of emotional let outs, crying in layman's term (Yes, I know I'm a baby), I sort of got to my senses. What's new?! Goodness!

Life's not easy.

But it is not difficult as well.

Shouldn't resist too much that is being thrown at me. Shouldn't fight too much that when face with.

Wait a minute... that is so ironic!

Not long ago, I blame myself for not fighting. For not standing up to myself. What am I saying here?

But I don't deny that sometimes the best things happen when you let it flow. When you go with the flow.

Man! I sound so condescending (that is if I'm using the word correctly).

Condescending myself! Ouch!

Time and again, I just have to make my life more complicated than it is. But one thing my travels (and expenditures) in the past month(s) has thought me, is that if you have money, everything is possible. Or in my case, if you have credit card, with a limit that has just been increased to more than what you really need... (I'm not complaining, as much as I am trying my very best not to overspend and clock up debt before I even get my first pay...) everything is possible.

Everything at the end of the day is money.

I. Just. Need. To. Stay. Calm.

butterfly kisses

Butterfly kisses for you babes. Happy birthday! xx

Sunday 29 July 2007

sundays are made like this

I survived the farewell.

It's not as dramatic as I hope it would have been. Probably my fault for not making a big announcement. But hey, small fry, small goodbye?

That's just life.

After all I'm a drama princess and I crave for attention(?!).

I had a great night out. Great location: Prince of Wales. Great people: Surrounded by my best friend and closest friends. Man! I'm gonna miss those people. But as good friends go, I do hope that we keep in touch. It's not really easy but an effort definitely well worth it.

Somehow, again, it's funny that you become close to people when you are leaving. Sigh...

Why?

Anyways, waking up today I realised and was kicking meself to no end, that I didn't took any pics last night. Urrrggghh.. SO TYPICAL!!!

*kick kick kick...*
*kick kick kick...*

Sigh...

There is this weird feeling. What is going to happen now? What am I going to do from now? The feeling of lost and fear somehow was slowly sinking in.

But...

In the mean time, let me enjoy this Sunday.

After falling in and out of sleep, chasing various dreams, I finally opened my eyes, snuggling in bed, texting. Yup, what a way to spend Sunday mornings.

Took me a while to decide what to do. But I'm glad, I finally(!) got my hair coloured, had a bit of facial, cooked my version of stovies, cleaned the flat a bit and then vegetate in front of the computer.

Sundays should definitely be made like this. Bliss!

Of course, how can I deny myself some fine retail therapy? Damn internet shopping! Must. Control. I'm so needing to control myself.

Still kicking...

Saturday 28 July 2007

overwhelmed

The thought of leaving the company has slowly crept up on me.

Yesterday I was on the verge of crying since some of them has already started saying goodbyes to me. I was thinking oh no... I may not be able to do this today.

The company. Once my favourite place work place. Yes yes... I know sad case. But truth be, I loved it so much in 2003 that in 2005 there wasn't a shadow of doubt to return to work here. Of course, things change but it was good to see familiar faces.

Forward time to now, it's twenty months since. There are just too much memories here.

I found my best friend.

I found the love of my life (yes I can hear you snigger!).

I found close friends.

I met some nice people. And not forgetting nasty ones too!

I found a new addiction of all things M&S.

It's not going to be easy. But a change is required.

It's going to be a journey. A new and exciting one.

Yet somehow I'm afraid.

Am I?

What's holding me back now??

Friday 27 July 2007

drained

I'm so drained.

I'm trying to change my sleeping pattern. And it has not been very successful.

#1: As much as I want to sleep earlier but I don't do it. Another case of the want and action does not tally. Even if I do sleep early, I end up waking up late. Or a case of waking up, look at the clock, go back to sleep.

#2: I'm not sure is it because I had been thinking too much. Adding the usual unnecessary stress to my already complicated and chaotic life. Why do I still do it? Urrrggghhh!

#3: Maybe I had been doing too much in too little time.

#4: Maybe I need to change my diet as TS commented that a good diet will lead to a healty and better life.

#5: Maybe I just need some time out. I will get a lot of this from Sunday onwards, until... until the time comes.

***

I love my roadtrips. And I had the chance of another roadtrip last weekend, playing tour guide to my Aunt's friend from Adelaide, who was on a round the world trip.

So 590 miles in three days. Which one day includes a 270 miles return trip in a day to see the client of my new job.

Day 1: Royal Deeside
Cambus O'May Suspension Bridge-Ballater-Balmoral Castle-Braemar


View from Cambus O'May Suspension bridge of Deeside


'By Royal Appointment' crests located on many shop fronts in Ballater. The town which provides Balmoral Castle most of their essentials.


Balmoral Castle. The Royal family's summer holiday home.


Day 2: Aberdeen-St. Andrews via Coastal Trail
Aberdeen-Stonehaven-Arbroath-Carnoustie(Scottish Open Weekend)-Dundee-St. Andrews

Arbroath Abbey


Dog Driver!


St. Andrews


Day 3: Aberdeen-Livingston
Aberdeen-Livingston-Dundee

Tuesday 24 July 2007

the ride of life

I would like to thank all who sent me birthday wishes.

Had been quite busy the past few days. Was introduced this song which fits just right at this time!



Trip Around the Sun by Jimmy Buffet and Martina McBride

Here I’m singin’ happy birthday
Better think about the about the wish I make
This year gone by ain’t been a piece of cake
Everyday’s a revolution
Pull it together and it comes undone
Just one more candle and a trip around the sun

I’m just hangin’ on while this old world keeps spinning
And it’s good to know it’s out of my control
If there’s one thing that I’ve learned from all this livin’
Is that it wouldn’t change a thing if I let go

No you never see it comin’
Always wind up wonderin’ where it went
Only time will tell if it was time well spent
It’s another revelation
Celebrating what I should have done
With these souvenirs of my trip around the sun

I’m just hangin’ on while this old world keeps spinning
And it’s good to know it’s out of my control
If there’s one thing that I’ve learned from all this livin’
Is that it wouldn’t change a thing if I let go

Yes I’ll make a resolution
That I’ll never make another one
Just enjoy this ride on my trip around the sun
Just enjoy this ride ..... until it's done

Saturday 21 July 2007

me birthday!!!

Finally!

I had been secretly counting down to my birthday. It does help when you’ve got Waterstones counting down with you because of “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows”.

I’m sure there must be a queue outside Waterstones and Asda for the book. Also there is a Potter Party in Starbucks!

There are certain dates/events that are of major importance to me: my birthday, my other half’s birthday, Valentine’s Day, Christmas and anniversaries.

Check out my personalised birthday card! How cool is that! And it came a few weeks early as well. Thanks A.Iris for the birthday card too!


After much thought, I have planned not to have a birthday party/gathering. I had been rather busy lately, not forgetting this weekend as well. So I haven’t really put much effort into planning. Well, I did give it a lot of thought though. ;P

Anyways, I had been reflecting on the things that I’ve done, would have done, could have done and things that I am looking forward to doing. And I realised that one of the biggest adventure of my life is just about to begin.

So adding on another year into the age pool, I am looking forward to this big adventure. With it, there are just so many things that I am thinking of doing and trying to put all my wants and dreams into reality. There seems to be no better time than now.

I’m actually burning with excitement!!!



Live Like You Were Dying by Tim McGraw

He said I was in my early forties
With a lot of life before me
When a moment came that stopped me on a dime
And I spent most of the next days
Looking at the x-rays
And talking 'bout the options, talking 'bout sweet time
And I asked him when it sank in
That this might really be the real end
How's it hit ya' when you get that kind of news
Man, what'd you do (he said)

C H O R U S
I went sky diving I went rocky mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fumanchu
And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying
And he said some day I hope you get a chance
To live like you were dying

He said I was finally the husband
That most the time I wasn't
And I became a friend a friend would like to have
And all 'a sudden going fishin'
Wasn't such an imposition
And I went three times that year I lost my dad
And I finally read the good book
And I took a good long hard look
At what I'd do if I could do it all again...and then

C H O R U S

Like tomorrow was a gift
And you've got eternity to think about what you did with it
What you did with it...what did I do with it
What would I do with it

C H O R U S



Happy Birthday ennazus! xx

Friday 20 July 2007

i finally did it!

As impulsiveness is making its round, I finally walked into HR today. Asked when was the best time to leave the company. Spoke to my section manager. Typed out my resignation letter. Voila! I'm leaving the Company!

In many ways I can't believed I did it!

I was just smiling the whole day. Coast to coast I mean ear to ear. I was so pleased with myself. Then I wrote down my birthday in the diary for tomorrow's date <21st> and turned to the 28th, and wrote 'SUZANNE'S LAST DAY'.

About nine months ago, I remember saying to POCO I'm not sure if I can leave the Company. I can't let go of the staff discount. And when I need to buy anything, will he buy for me? Obviously he said yes.

Who knows he actually left the company before me! Well, I wasn't really looking for a job at that time.

Anyways, someone looked into the diary and came and interogate me. And I said, yes, I'm leaving.

In some ways there wasn't much fun. 'Cos many people knew that sooner or later I will be leaving. No fun! :(

Anyways, the fun part was when people asked me what I was going to do? I said, 'I will be sitting around, shaking leg and look pretty!' Only to realised that no one understands what 'shake leg' means. Urgh!

So I said after that when anyone asked, ' I will be sitting around, doing nothing and looking pretty.'

Truth is, I didn't really know how to explain what I will be doing. So if anyone was interested and asked, I'm going to be an Assistant Project Surveyor.

Exciting! Exciting!!

On a different note, I kinda regret cutting my hair. :(

It's just that my hair has become wavy and not straight or at least so straight anymore. :(

My hair is not as smooth and in place like yesterday. Its gone all wavy!!! Crisis! BooHoo... And I wanted a low maintainance hair! Not one that I have to put stuff in it, blow dry to perfection (or straighten with iron), put more stuff in my hair for the shine. Yeeoow... :'(

But it was nice that Chic Chick said that she like my hair. She was the first who noticed that I cut it. And she loved it. :D

Scottie, whom I played a really good prank on once, which no one thought I could ever be such a prankster, noticed that I cut my hair. :)

*Sigh* I'm a bit torn on my hair now... :(

Let's give it a few more days. :|

On the other hand, I had a great morning today! After a long silence, my biggest crush texted me this morning. We had a great 'converstion'. *Sigh...* How nice...

Thursday 19 July 2007

impulsiveness

Today has been a rather impulsive day. Sort of.

Impulse #1: Haircut

Ever since I knew Paul is a hairstylist, I thought 'Why not have him style my hair? One day'. I spoke to him once that I will come by to see him, soon. That was weeks ago.

Finally today, I walk into his workplace without an appointment. Luckily there was a slot in 10 minutes. It was a very interesting experience as I sat there for 1 hour and 40 minutes, which I think must have been the longest haircut I've ever got.

However, I must say that in Paul's capable hands, I felt at ease. This would be my second ever haircut in the UK!

Reason being: 1. I don't believe or rather, practicing having my hair cut every seven weeks. I normally have my hair cut/trim/whatever every year, around Chinese New Year. The last time I visited a hairstylist was 9-10 months ago! 2. It is cheaper to get a haircut in Malaysia. I normally spend not more than RM15 (£3) on a hair cut. Just cut. No wash, blow, all those nonsense. My last hair cut, dry cut, cost me £10. And I cringed at how the girl cut it! Okay, the most I've ever spent on my hair was RM400 (£60) on rebonding. The most money and time I've spent on. Was in the hairsalon for 8 hours?!

Aneeeways... Paul was meticulously layering my hair and styling it. Before that, I had to have my hair washed, even though I just washed it 30 minutes ago. I think I almost fell asleep at the chair! Goodness!!!

After all the snipping, blow drying and styling later, I left with a rather interesting fringe (not too funky), plenty of hair on the floor (Paul said I had a lot of hair and I say that I drop a lot of hair everyday too), and £34.20 less (luckily for student discount!) . Interesting fringe, cos the hair keep falling on my face. But it's good. Have to see what TS is going to say about it, since he suggested that I get a fringe. Actually, it's not much of a proper fringe, I'm so going to be strangled! hahahaha...

I had fun though. Proper professional cut. I will go back there again. A friend of mine only let his hair styled by Paul. So I trust him!

A nice pre-birthday present!

Impulse #2: M&S Sale

The M&S sale started today. I planned last night to be there by 8:30am for the bargains and I plan to buy work clothes.

Come 8:30am, I was still in bed! Otherwise, this posting may just be about how sad I am waking up to be the first few there. Although, there are people waiting in queue for the 5:30am (I think...) Next sale, normally.

I don't normally go to a sale, because I find that either there are too many people in the queues for trying or the tills, or the sale items are a mess. Many people here, normally buy the clothes, go home and try, and if unsatisfied, come back (to a queue) and get a refund or if lucky an exchange. I just don't really see the point of buying something only to realised that it is not suitable or you can't get the size you need. So I brave through the queues and patiently wait for my turn each time.

However, after one set of luxurious duvet cover, a pair of tights, a pair of trousers, three sets of lingeries, three shirts and five skirts later, I think I almost break the bank. On top of that, I realised that I somehow bought too much to carry. I had to go buy some stuff at the chinese grocers and pick up a visitor from the bus station. So, I do what I normally do with my food bought there... I have it home delivered! Only...

Only that if I brought £50 worth of food, then I can get free delivery. So... more impulsiveness. Okay, I did sort of plan to buy some stuff, but not so soon.

Home delivery: free
Haircut: £32
Food: £51
Clothes: £165
Shopping spree satisfaction: priceless!


Goodness! Thank god for staff discount!! Can't believe I can spend so much in a day! Well, in SH, now christened as POCO (How cute! Like a penguin name! Blessed! x), words 'as long as I'm happy'. Very true...

This shopping trip will last me for a while...

There goes my bonus...

Wednesday 18 July 2007

country driving 101

During our road trip, I was telling TS who doesn’t drive, that when faced with animals in your path, drive on and do not step on your brakes suddenly. Just continue to drive. You never know what is going to happen.

You will not know if there is a car behind you.
You will not know if the car behind you is keeping the right distance.
You never know if you are going to swerve to the left.
Or to the right.
Will you be going into the fence?
Into the ditch?
Or into the gorge.
Or into the tree.
Or just into something.
You will not know if you will be going into the oncoming car.
If there is an oncoming car.


It’s okay if it is an animal. Road kills happens all the time. We can do with one less of a rabbit, a seagull, a deer, a monitor lizard, etc. But we can’t cause harm to another human.

Speaking of seagulls, I saw a group/flock of seagulls (about four of them) stopped traffic on Schoolhill as they decided to fight in the middle of the road. This Range Rover had to stop and not roll over the group. Should he just drive on? Would definitely be a sight!

Back to the story… And I continued, in Malaysia, you get cats that just like to dart out as and when they like. Any chain of events happens when you step on your brake just to save the kitty cat. (Mind you, both of us are cat lovers!)

Again, it’s okay if it is an animal.
But it is not okay if it is a human.

TS who had been listening intently went…
TS: It is okay even if it is human.
ennazus: … (hmm)

Not long after that…

ennazus: Oops… SORRY! I just rolled over a rabbit.
TS: Really?!
ennazus: Yeah, it was trying to cross the road. And I just rolled over it. I saw it rolling out and I think the car behind me rolled over its tail.

ennazus: Sorry rabbit.

ennazus: Like my theory says, do not brake suddenly.


Am I cold blooded or what?!

Current song that is stuck on my head.

Amazing Love
Words & Music by Billy James Foote

I’m forgiven because You were forsaken.
I’m accepted. You were condemned.

I’m alive and well,
Your Spirit is within me
Because You died and rose again.

Amazing love, how can it be
That you, my King would die for me?

Amazing love, I know it’s true:
It’s my joy to honor you.
In all I do I honor You.

You are my King.
You are my King.
Jesus, You are my King.
Jesus, You are my King.

Tuesday 17 July 2007

peace

After chatting with my Aunt I this morning, I did some surfing and then watch the first episode of the highly acclaimed Heroes.

Having just read the article on Wikipedia, I just realised the extend of the series. I think I may just rewatch the first episode again. Also, I noticed that to watch it on terrestrial tv in the UK, we are probably one of the last few, but then again, I may be wrong because most tv channels listed are subscribed channels.

Anyways, after watching Heroes, I was thinking its about time for me to go to bed. But as daylight starts to pour in, I thought, why not go down to the beach to watch the sunrise?

So there I was quarter to five in the morning all dressed up to go out.

Walking that early in the morning is not that all bad. The sky was bright enough, so there were no streeet lights on (come to think about it, I don't even remember what time the street lights in front went off?). The streets were quiet, in the sense that there were hardly any vehicles on the road. All you can hear is probably the annoying sound of seagulls. But then again, at least it is the sound of nature. ;P Not forgetting the early council workers cleaning the roads, making sure it is all clean when the day (for others) starts.

Speaking of which, it was rather interesting seeing them cleaning the road. Too bad I was slow not to have thought about whipping out my camera phone and take some pics. Normally, for a small area, you see people sweeping the streets, then sweeping them all into the dustpan (or whatever you call it) and into the bin, manually . But for a bigger area, you see guys sweeping rubbish from the pedestrian walk onto the road where another guy will drive by in a road sweeper to sweep up the rubbish. However, this morning, I was fortunate (or unfortunate) enough to walk pass a guy with a leaves blower, in this case, being used as a rubbish blower.

So, that IS a sight for you!

As I continue my walk down to the beach, I realised that I may not be able to see the sun rise because of the haar (pronounced hahr). I was disappointed expecting to see the sun rise, since I thought I missed it with AC. It wasn't all that bad.

I continue to walk along the beach front watching the tides coming in, strong and steady. The crashing of the waves, incessantly on the beach, not too far from me. It was nice. It was serene. There I was in the wee hours of the morning. I felt at peace.


I wished I could have been watching the sun rising but amazingly I wasn't really that disappointed. I felt that there are many other chances to do it. Today, it was a different scene altogether. It was good, nonetheless.

On my way there, all I can think of is Don Moen's Deeper in Love. It is such a beautiful song and I always find peace in it. Its been a long time since I heard this song too...

There is a longing only You can fill
A raging temptest only You can still
My soul is thirsty Lord
To know You as I'm known
Drink from the river
That flows before your throne

Take me deeper
Deeper in love with You
Jesus hold me close in Your embrace
Take me deeper
Deeper than I've ever been before
I just want to love You more and more
How I long to be deeper in love

Sunrise to sunrise
I will seek Your face
Drawn by the Spirit
To the promise of Your grace
My heart has found in You
A hope that will abide
Here in Your presence
Forever satisfied

Take me deeper
Deeper in love with You
Jesus hold me close in Your embrace
Take me deeper
Deeper than I've ever been before
I just want to love You more and more
How I long to be deeper in love

I better go and have a lie down. I have quite a few important things to do today.

Monday 16 July 2007

thirty days

All it took was thirty days
For me to realise
And understand
God's wonderful creation
'How Great Thou Art!'
I feel really sorry for your loss
I honestly do

Sunday 15 July 2007

the persistent bug

I hate being sick.

This year, I had fallen sick too many times. Well, more times than I usually do in a year. Sigh... Sometimes I wonder is it because of stress? The unnecesary stress of my so called chaotic life.

Maybe I haven't been taking good care of myself. Had been having a rather hectic time (or so I would like to think). Worrying too much probably as well. Or I just caught the bug? I hate to think that I have hay fever. As much as I don't ever Ever EVER want to admit that.

Living life in denial, yet again!

Anyways this time round, what started as a dry throat then irritated my throat more, which started with coughs. Then somehow it turned into more cold/flu symptoms.

I think I already had my year's worth of sickness. Should really spring out of it!!!

*Waving a magic wand above my head...* I will not fall sick again, at least for a while until end of the year.

In total randomness, I went to my colleague's evening wedding reception, Saturday evening. It was a rather interesting affair. I can't forget when she first gave me the invitation, I was so excited cos I've never been invited to a wedding here before. Anyways, I gave her hen shine (or hen night) a missed, which I think turned out for good as I heard it turned out rather eventful.

Anyways, I hope everything goes well and hope that they have a beautiful life together.

Friday 13 July 2007

road trip 279 miles

Am rather knackered from my road trip through the Cairngorms.

I had been invited to speak on Rotaract at District 1010's girls' RYLA (Rotary Youth Leadership Award) in Nethy Bridge today. So, hired a car and dragged TS along on the road trip.

It was a great trip, I would say.

We left on Thursday afternoon. Almost got a parking ticket because we forgotten to check the time on the parking ticket, and it has expired when we got back to the car. The warden was just about to print the ticket and all that came out of my mouth was 'NooooOOOoOooOooooOo...' Luckily he was nice and haven't printed it. *Phew!* That was even before we left Aberdeen!!!

After recomposing myself, we then head off. Since we had so much time, the journey allows us to stop anywhere we want. Me loving to drive and he being the guide/navigator/photographer.

It has been a while since I last drove and the route we took was just excellent! Just perfect for me since I love different terrains.

Along the way, we had pronounciation lessons since I have some difficulties in pronouncing some words. We drove by many towns and stopped at Tarland for some pics, passed by the ski town/area (during winter) of Lecht and then arrived at Nethy Bridge. Since we were early and didn't want to go to the camp, we then head on south to Aviemore and have our dinner there.

It was my first time to Aviemore, another ski town/resort during winter. I think it is a very touristy ski resort town. It's not grand as a ski resort, which IMHO could have been much better. Anyways, there is a really nice train station, which both of us think that all train stations in Scotland should have been conserved this way. Anyways, there is a The North Face outlet shop and I so wanted to shop there, but it was closed. *Sigh...* Too bad.

We then realised that time flies and it was getting late. So we hurriedly got to Abernethy Trust Outdoor Centre and arrived just in time for supper. Talk about timing!

Had a minor panic attacked when we tried to open the file for the next day's presentation. Apparently the file was not recognised! I was kinda lost for words. But luckily I had older similar files on my pen drive. Some amending and downloading pictures in the morning, my presentation was ready. *Phew!* again.

Did my presentation this morning, which I am glad was good. Had been invited to speak again next year. Yaaay!! Road trip? Since we weren't prepared for outdoor activities, we had to kindly turn down joining the girls. Its my fault actually.

We then head out for more galavanting, which those who don't know me by now, means more driving around aimlessly.

Arrived in Grantown-on-Spey for brunch (toasties, yum!). Again, my first time here. It is a really Really nice town! I had to use words like 'blast from the past' to describe the town, that our friend couldn't help sniggering at me! We went to a traditional sweet shop and bought some sweets there. I was literally a child in a sweet shop! I guess TS had a time of his life watching me or he may just be so embarassed at me! I couldn't help but ask the owner if I could take pics in his shop, obviously after I bought a bag of 'Soor Plooms' (Yum!). Such a tourist!

I found my daddy's car here too! I wonder if it got lost to Scotland! hehehee...


Since TS has never been to a whisky distillery, I sort of forced him to go to one. The next one that came along was Cardhu distillery, who distills whisky for Johnny Walker. Good, since I've never been to this one before.

After our wee tour, we then head on to a place called Blacksboat. So with my trusty navigator's instincts (since he actually been there in the past before) we then head off. Drive drive drive, only to realised we are at Cardhu AGAIN! You can imagine my expression 'CARDHU!'. Of course he never heard the end of it, even after we finally found the place. It was just so so funny!

We then finally head home. Funny thing, now that I am looking at the map, I just realised that we took a really huge round back to almost Grantown-on-Spey! However, however(!), I can't deny it was a good drive.

And like any The Company slaves, we had to stop by The Company's outlet in Westhill. We need a life man!

Having a car definitely has its advantages. We had to have one last detour before home, my favourite place in Aberdeen, Balmedie beach. Glad TS loved it, the undiscovered part of Aberdeen for him.


I better head off to bed now, I am so knackered. Tomorrow is another long day.

Thanks again to a wonderful Friday 13th. Am really thankful for your companion!

Thursday 12 July 2007

summer graduations

It’s graduation week at RGU. AU had their’s last week.

The three days of buzz between Music Hall and RGU:Union with graduands and graduates wearing their finest, wearing their robes and wearing the broadest smile on their faces, happens twice a year here. This is summer graduation. Parents and friends grace the occasion, proud of the graduates’ achievements.

Years of slaving for exams and/or resits, courseworks, projects and for some, placements, have finally come to an end. No more dragging your body out of bed early morning hung over from the night before, only to be caught in the early morning rush to get to class on time, then, the struggle to stay awake throughout the lectures. Wait a minute, what makes you think that this is not going to happen in future anyway? Okay, maybe in a more sensible way, given the benefit of the doubt.

However, Scotland being Scotland, I heard that it is so common for people to call in sick because they were hung over from the night before/overslept/just couldn’t be arsed to go in (work or classes) at all.

Anyways, it’s time to let go of cheap drinks. Move on without the freebies from Fresher’s Fayre. The student discounts. The letting go and moving on to things more substantial. Reality.

And it is time for all if not most to go out to the real world. To face the stark reality of paying proper taxes: income tax, NI deductions, council tax; student loans and what nots. Guess that is why I am still enjoying my so called student life.

Living in a life of denial.

*Sigh...* I love graduations. I had done it three times now. And I’m waiting for invitations to attend one day, to cheer and feel proud for their achievements. Hmmm… should I do it another time (graduating) just for old time’s sake?

Man! Will it become a vicious cycle? A bad habit? Or maybe even a bad dream?

Somehow there is a buzz, a high from it. Is it because it is the end? It is the beginning? Is it because of the new clothes? Is it the robes? Is it the graduation meals? Is it the graduation ball? Is it the strawberries and champagne in the quadrangle? Is it the photography? Is it the getting away, the escape?

Well, whatever it is, I’m going to give it a miss this time round. I missed it yesterday and I will probably try to avoid the crowd today. And I definitely am not going to stay around for Friday. Not that there is a need for it, for any days.

I will be going away on a road trip, a short road trip. More distractions to my (so called) chaotic life.

Congratulations graduates! It’s your day. And I hope you enjoy every moment of it!

Wednesday 11 July 2007

aberdeen walking tour

I was awaken by a phone call this morning (Tuesday). So much for trying to have a peaceful-no-worrying-what-time-to-wake-up lie in. Fretted around like a headless chicken before finally going back to sleep again. What a pig! -_-'

I guess one reason that I didn't really wanted to get up was that it didn't seemed sunny enough for me to tear away from my bed and being under my duvet. Wait a minute, it wasn't even sunny at all! Seems awfully perfect to stay under the cover with my beloved.

Went about doing my chores and then later met up with TS for a chat. I definitely needed a dose of it.

After that we went on our usual walks around town. We were lucky that the sun was finally out at that time!

One thing I love about our walks is that there are lots of discussion on architectures around us. I have learnt a lot and given a lot of my opinion (no matter how silly and possibly shallow it may sound). We can spend hours just debating a place or location. I love especially when I realise that I can be very vocal about certain things. Sometimes I think, maybe it's just because I'm comfortable with the person I'm speaking to. Still something I need to work on when with others.

Through these walks not only do I learn of local architects, types of designs and reasons for the designs, I also learnt history of the city.

I find and realised that there are not enough appreciation towards designs in the city. Hopefully one day those important people out there will realised that and put in some effort to bring up the city. In the mean time, I know what I want to do when I get my very own DSLR.

Anyways, in true guided tour style...
TS: The last stop of our Aberdeen tour is Bon Accord Square.

Thanks for the guided tours, everytime!

Tuesday 10 July 2007

sun kissed

TS was reading my blog the other night and sniggered at my post on Summer's Here. Truth is that after that beautiful day, it then rained for four days straight. :(

So when today turned out to be an absolutely beautiful and warm hot day, I was kicking myself having agreed to work in the restaurant. *Sigh* And it does show how fast time flies. Okay, me having not wore a watch for a long time didn't really look at the time to know how time had passed. Anyways, I told myself that after I do this, this, that and that, I will steal some time to go and sit out in the sun.

But before I realised, it was already dinner time and most of my tasks were not done! (grumble grumble...)

I remember coming back from my trip to Lerwick, everyone was asking if I had some sun. Then I would be thinking, well it wasn't that sunny in Shetland at all. Yes, there were some sun but maybe because it was very windy and cooling, I didn't realised that I was getting some sun. Thinking back, I think the biggest culprit would be during my return trip, I was sitting on the top deck of the ferry soaking the evening sun. I think that should be where I got my sun.

So, one evening after I got back from my trip, when I first saw AC, we were walking to meet James and Jen for tea (dinner) and drinks...

AC: You got some sun.
ennazus: Well, that's what everyone is saying. I'm not too sure.
AC: Do you use fake tan then?
ennazus: I don't do fake tan.
AC: Well, if you didn't get the sun, you must have tons of make up on.
ennazus: .... I hardly put on much make up. Only mascara.

-_-^

Anyways, after last week of sun basking, which I totally enjoy, I am so looking forward to my next chance for sun basking. I hope tomorrow would be a beautiful and warm day.

I just so love my sun kissed skin. Someone said that I looked better with a tan. Ooohhh...

Come on summer, its about time!!!

Sunday 8 July 2007

american chris


Time flies when you are having fun. This is the summer of departures.

We all knew AC was leaving soon. But you never imagine how soon someone is going away until the air tickets are bought and leaving do is confirmed. So after work on Friday I went to meet up with AC and his friends.

We started off at Braided Figs on Summer Street, then moved on to dinner at Filling Station. After that, more drinks in Under the Hammer, Monkey House and then to Priory and Espionage for dancing.

It was a night of many firsts: my first trip to Braided Figs and Under the Hammer. Haven't been to Priory and Espionage for eons.

AC's ex-colleagues were a really nice bunch of people. I told him I hope my future work colleagues will be as cool and friendly as them. It was nice to go out and just enjoy oneself. I had too many drinks that night, ten to be exact: six bottles of Magners and four G&T.

By the end of the night, there were five of us left. I danced so much, had so much drinks spilt on me (grumble grumble). While dancing with AC, he fell and brought me down with him. It wasn't until morning that I realised how dirty I looked! Such a minker!

After the clubs close and everyone left, I went back to AC's to help him pack the rest of his stuff. We planned to go watch sunrise down at the beach and have greasy breakfast, I mean proper Scottish breakfast. However, that didn't materialised after I said I need a lie down.

The next thing we knew, it was time to go to the train station. Sadly, AC unceremoniously or ceremoniously, depending how you see it, missed his train. So I waited with him for the next train. It was a sad goodbye but I was quite numbed by the experience. Probably I was too tired.

Looking back at AC's time in Aberdeen, I have learnt quite a lot from him, enjoyed good conversations with him and enjoyed his company. He is one guy that I know talks a lot! I'm not complaining because I know I am going to miss that, a lot!

Other than TS, AC is the other person responsible for my increased drinking and tummy from the alcohol. Well, besides the fact that I should drink less, I am so going to miss all those good times.

I'm looking forward to my trip to Boston to see AC when the time comes. Oh yes, I will remember to bring your beloved books with me.

In the meantime, this song is for you, AC!

But then last night was so much fun
The streets are dirty too but
You never look back over what you've done
Remember when you were young
You'd lose yourself
In the morning, you know you won't remember a thing
In the morning, you know it's gonna be alright

Thanks for a great night, I had a wonderful time. Thank you for your friendship and many words of wisdom you had left me with, I will miss you so much! All the best in your final year and I look forward to seeing you soon! xoxox

p.s.: I am so gutted that I lost my favourite bangle. It was irreplacable... *sob sob*

Saturday 7 July 2007

special seven

The number 7 has always been something that I love.

I don’t know how you relate to a favourite number. For some there is a certain attraction. For others it is a matter of luck or fate.

I guess for me the number seven is part of me since it is the month that I was born in. Henceforth, my love for the number 7.

This year the 7th of July is certainly special. Cos if you look closely, it will be 07/07/07.

I remember at one point I had this ‘dream’ to get married on this day. It will be definitely one heck of a date that you won’t get again in another thousand years. Which I am very certain that I will not be around then.

But fate as it is, I’m not getting married on this day.

Last year, during my trip to Japan, I learnt that the seventh day of the seventh lunisolar calendar is also a day where Japanese celebrates the festival of Tanabata (七夕). Because the seventh month of the year roughly coincides with August rather than July, Tanabata is still celebrated on August 7th in some regions of Japan, while it is celebrated on July 7th in other regions.


The day celebrates the meeting of Orihime and Hikoboshi which are separated by the Milky Way (river). It is only on this day that they are allowed to meet only once a year. So it is a very significant and special day for lovers.

And me being me, that I’m such a sap when it comes to matters of romance, now feel that there is more to this day then ever!

Popular Tanabata custom is to write one’s wishes, sometimes in the form of poetry, on tanzaku (短冊) – colourful, small strips of paper, and hanging them on a specially erected bamboo tree, in the hope that the wishes become true.


So my wish for all of you who love me by reading my blog, I wish you good health, happiness and love always. xx

Friday 6 July 2007

countdown

It's great that to know that everyone is counting down to my birthday...


If only they knew...

Tuesday 3 July 2007

summer's here


Walking in my business suit on such a warm day is not very pleasant. I couldn't wait to get out of it and just bask in the sun enjoying the summer days. Now that it has finally arrive. I hope so. Fingers crossing!!!

As soon as I could, met up with TS and we went for a walk around Aberdeen towards Johnstone Gardens. We then just hang out for hours there. Or at least I think it seemed like hours. Basking in the sun. Catching up on the lastest gossips and news. Sharing banters and sorrows (haha!). Just soaking up the sunshine was amazing! Both of us got a little sun burnt, of course it wasn't too obvious on me. So I think.

We found some swings not far from the gardens. It was nice and new. I had been longing for swings. It was good. We sat on the swings until we felt sick. It was so funny. Is age catching up then?

Having walks on a beautiful day like today around Aberdeen is just so amazing. The company made the journey more enjoyable, although not all are good news.


We later got ourselves to Duthie Park where we enjoyed an evening of opera, Tosca in the open air. It was really good. A great ending to a glorious day. We should have more summer days like this. More big screen events.

I'm so looking forward to more days like this.

Thanks for the company. It was just amazing!

Monday 2 July 2007

rediscovering scotland

Funny how when you go to the same place for the second time, the impression and memory can be different?

Earlier in the year I visited Dundee with my cousin and her friend. It was quite interesting as this time I felt that there is so much more to Dundee compared to the few times I've been there. I guess what made the difference was that instead of driving around the city, I had not much of a choice but walk into the city. And what I found was that there was this whole new undiscovered aspect of the city. It was like Wow!!!

Being the fourth largest city in Scotland, I felt that Dundee has more to offer compared to Aberdeen. Especially on the shopping aspect. Hmmm... when will we catch up? Not only that Dundee seems more arty and cultured, of course the scene is not as big as Edinburgh or Glasgow. But definately bigger than Aberdeen. They did say that Dundee is the 'City of Discovery'.

Today, my mini trip to Glasgow was rather interesting as well. I didn't really took much pictures but there was a good rediscovering of this city.


I remember years ago my first visit to Glasgow and my first impression of it was not very good. And I sort of decided that its the worst city I've ever been to in Scotland. Little did I know there was so much to see. While taking a nice stroll along the streets, my eyes capture mini photographs of various places in my mind. I could have done more with a camera but I wasn't really in the mood to take pics from my camera phone.

Whilst in Buchanan Galleries I saw some framed paintworks of the city and possibly that was something that opened my mind as well as trying to find out parts of the city that were in those pictures.

I guess if you look really closely the various style of buildings, the city does make it quite an interesting place to study the architecture and design of it. Take for instance the office I've been to today was a rather interesting studio. Large spaces but not much natural lighting. What does this place used to be? The fittings in the place seems like the orginial, is it? I'm so intrigued!

Of course no trip to Glasgow can do without some shopping!!! Goodness I'm such a slave to shopping, not to mention going to M&S. Sigh... Someone once said 'even on your day off!!!' So another aspect of the city that I've discovered is that there were so many shops for shopping!!! I almost went mad.

But then again, me being me, I'm rather fussy when it comes to shopping. Especially sale items. Wished I can just dive in like any shopaholics. Just that I have this thing that if clothes are untidy or there is a lot of them on the rack, it is a turn off for me. So yup, you hardly see me shopping where the good bargains are. Not that I don't want to... *Shakes head*

My trip ended with a nice meal I treated myself to at this Japanese noodle bar. Feel so contented!

Come to think about it, having a city pedestrianised does make a lot of difference actually. Hmm... think Aberdeen should seriously consider it. Can't deny though the new Bon Accord Master Plan does look rather promising.

I must make a special photography trip to Glasgow once again, when I get a proper camera.

Will it fall from the sky?

To those of you who were rather concerned about the news in UK... The massive flooding down south in England since last week is slowly, very slowly receeding. It will possibly be gone next week but the damage will take days, weeks or even years to recover.

Suicide bombers or bomb attacks in London and Glasgow airport: seven people has been caught but everyone still carry on their lives as normal. What is really disturbing is that the bombers this time round are doctors, professionals and they are foreign. That means that they are unlike previous cases of angry young muslim men who are British. Whats going to happen now?

Police presence are everywhere: train stations, bus stations, airports, hospitals and even on the streets. Some of them carrying guns. Tighter security measures?

Back to weather again, Wimbeldon has been hit by unsettled weather. So not very fun watching it since lots of games has been postponed.

Hahaha... so there you have it. Shows that I've been watching the news. Today. ;P

cleaning


Lazy Sunday...

Well, I sort of live up to the term. But then again, not really.

I like this 'secret' (taken a while ago from Post Secret). I think it is so true of me.

I know that in the past when something really bothers me, I will be cleaning away there. Scrubbing everything I can get hold of. Just filling up my time.

Today (Sunday), I thought it is about time that I put some effort to clean my flat. So it got a really good hoovering (vacuuming); some cleaning, some, cause I think I could have done more; did my laundry (it was big!) and a little sorting my bills out. Hmmm... not too bad actually.

I find cleaning very therapeutic. Okay, I know I'm not the cleanest or neatest at times. But after lots of training (heck, I was a cleaner once) and having the eye for detail, I can be quite particular when I clean, that is when I do, *erhem*, clean.

I remember one aunty walking past my bedroom at home once and commented 'is that a girl's bedroom or a guys?' What happens is that I have two tables in my room: one is a study table, or rather a table to pile my stuff (which the habit never seems to be rid of), and another was the computer table, yet again, pile with stuff (recurring theme?!). And then there will be stacks of papers and notes and what nots dotted or rather arranged, rather neatly around the floor. Organised chaos? Anyways, there will be path from the door to my bed.

Its not the neatest of all rooms but somehow I think it is just a very bad habit that our family has. Those who really know us, knows that our large dining table back home is always full of stuff. One reason is possibly we don't eat at that table so we use to do work or pile stuff on it.

The only time our home looks neat is whenever we have visitors or parties. In many ways, it has become an incentive for us to have parties so that our home looks neat. Somehow, someway that is the same now that I have my own place.

Now, I just have to go through my pile of mails, read the papers, clear the dining table, sort out more of the junk and I'm somewhere through the mountains of rubbish I have accumulated. Maybe organise a party to celebrate the tidiness?

But, I better go to bed. Glasgow awaits! Hopefully no more terrorist sucide bombers...

Tata... x

Sunday 1 July 2007

birthdays

Had a somewhat hectic day. Somewhat.

After work I was going to Jen's birthday meal and then to Tracy's for her birthday celebration as well.

Honestly, I like the busyness of this. The flaffing and fretting going about it. On top of that the part that I didn't like was a minor crisis.

Crisis. Huh?!

Anyways, the meal at Jewel in the Crown was good (check out the website!). My first time there and the food was really nice. I had the prawn briyani, which was just nice for me. It was a big portion but I managed to finish. More importantly it was not very spicy. Just nice.

There were twenty of us and I know probably a handful. Made new friends as well. Most of those who were there were church members from Jen and James's church. It was good to hang out with young people. Bring back some memories. ;) Great fellowship.

After the meal I went off to Tracy's. Tracy has a very nice duplex (if that is how you call it). Double storey flat in a masonette. Each flat in the block are double storey. Anyways we catch up, played drinking games, chatted and just enjoy each other's company.

It was one of the nights that I stayed out real late. Probably the first time I stayed out so late. I only got home to bed around 5:30am! Its great that I didn't really have much to do this morning, so I can just lie in without the alarm. But then of course, I managed to wake up early. Somehow. Even I wanted to lie in. Oh well...

To Jen and Tracy, thanks for having me as part of your birthday celebrations. Best wishes for the year and love always. xx

Drink log: one vodka orange, one apple sourz, numerous gin and tonic (couldn't be bothered with counting... possibly between 5-7 or more... hmm...)

Now what shall I do for my birthday in 20 days time? Hmmm....