Saturday 30 June 2007

comforting peace

Will there be a solution?

Is there really an angel?

Where are you...?

Angel by Sarah McLachlan

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There’s always some reason
To feel not good enough
And it’s hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There’s vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
It don’t make no difference
Escaping one last time
It’s easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

Friday 29 June 2007

i hate this world

I hate the world today.

Why is it such a false world?

Why is it so unfair?

Why is it so f*ing sh*t?

There is just so much sh*t going around and there is no one that I can trust.

*Sigh...*

What the crap is happening?

Am I just overeacting?

Possibly.

Why is there favourtism?

Why am I being single out?

Overeacting?!

*Sigh...*

You get people that come to you and say 'I'm here if you want to talk about it'. Or 'You can talk to me if you want to'. You look at them and then you think 'You sly gossip monger!' 'Tosser!' 'Yeah right!'

Damn! What the f* is all this? Telling people that they can come to you to speak to you but at the same time you give the impression that you soooo cannot be trusted. F*!

Then you get people who asks you 'How are you?' but they are only interested in hearing you are fine. They can't even be at least sympathetic.

Okay, I can't expect everyone to be there for me. At least don't pretend that you want to if you really don't want to.

Don't tell me that I can count on you when half the time you are away or busy with whatever f* there is.

*Sigh...*

I so hate swearing. Sort of. But I just can't help it. Sod it if you can't take it.

Why is it that some people just make some excuse or give some sort of reason and then they talk their way out of it? Should I do it? Or when I do it, why don't I get the same effect?

Why do I even care so much?

Why do I care what other people think about me?

How do I know that you genuinely care about me?

Damn!

I so hate the world today.

Hate. HATE. HATE!!!

I don't even know where to turn to.

Have you heard of the theory that 'If in pain, when inflicted with a greater pain, the initial pain will cease to exist. At least, it will cease to exist during that big distraction.'

I just so want to hang myself.

If possible, I want to rip out my heart and toss it on the ground. Stomp on it until it becomes a pulp.

Will I still feel this pain?

I'm not even suicidal.

Or am I now?


Cut my life into pieces
I've reached my last resort
Don't give a f*ck if I cut my arm bleeding
Do you even care if I die bleeding
Would it be wrong
Would it be right
If I took my life tonight
Chances are that I might
Mutilation outta sight
And I'm contemplating suicide

Cuz I'm losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me
I'm fine
Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me
I'm fine

Nothings alright
Nothing is fine
I'm running and I'm crying
I'm crying

I can't go on living this way
Can't go on
Living this way
Nothings alright

Thursday 28 June 2007

working class dinner

Vitali was leaving to Israel and was kind enough to invite us all to his flat for a party last night.

I just got off the ferry earlier in the morning. After a twelve hour journey.

Should I go?

I'm tired but it will be the last time I see Vitali until...

Until I go to Germany. When I do go to Germany.

Until...

Called up the rest for a little checking up on.

Still... contemplating to go or not to go.

It was a tough decision. Sort of.

But what the heck. The things I do for friends.

So I took the busses, in the rain, to Hillheads. Found the place.

Somehow Hillheads accommodation doesn't seemed fitted with locks. I walked into the block and then walked into the flat. So much for security.

Only to be greeted by some sort of silence.

Vitali was cooking in the kitchen. He was glad to see me. And I was glad to see him, of course.

So I had to ask
ennazus: Where are the rest?
Vitali: They are coming. You are the first one.

Me thinking this is a party. Dinner. Where are the people? Poor Vitali.

ennazus: You know if you wanted a date with me, if you had wanted to cook dinner for me, all you have to do is ask you know.
Vitali: I know.
ennazus: So you tell me that you are having a party but actually you wanted to have dinner with me?
Vitali: Yeah...

Hmmm...

Right. So in order to put all things proper, to have a proper dinner together, why not have a candlelight dinner?

So Vitali rummaged for candles and I prep the candles and set the table while he finish with the cooking.

ennazus: You know I'm actually the guest and I'm doing all this work?!
Vitali: This is what we call a working class date. See the working class are very busy with their work. So while one cook the other one will have to prepare.
ennazus: Even for a date?
Vitali: It's working class! People are busy!
ennazus: oookaaay...

The food was really nice. Vegetarian. I didn't catch the name of the food but it was a combination of courgettes, tomatoes, cheese, mushrooms and a mix of spices (I think there were more stuff in it but I couldn't remember. All I can remember was it was so yummy!!!) We also had a really lovely salad with french styled horseradish dressing and strawberries for dessert. We even had 'flowers' on the table. It was actually a pot of coriander. A nice bottle of wine. And our special candle holders. Everything was ala 'Lady and the Tramp'. Oh we even had Chopin playing in the background.


It was nice nonetheless. It was a good laugh. My first candlelight dinner, if I'm not mistaken. His first time having dinner with a girl in his flat. Awww...

We had a good banter. Laughing and enjoying the food. Gossiping about our friends. About our lives.

Jen and James finally arrived later. We had more banters and chat. James played some songs for us on the guitar.


When we finally call it a night, we even get parting gifts! So kind of you Vitali!

You will no doubt be missed. Hope you enjoy your time in Israel. Till we meet again...

Wednesday 27 June 2007

i need a lie down


Switzerland?


No. Its Shetland.

Just got back from Lerwick and had done my year's share of exercise in three days.

I need a lie down now...

Saturday 23 June 2007

pessimism

Food for thought:

How much disappointment can one take?

How much rejection can one take?


I know I'm terrible at things like this, especially rejection.

I remembered while working as a tele-consultant (glamourous name) I couldn't take the amount of rejection from the clients. Okay, no doubt I cannot expect all my clients to buy the product that they only heard of, didn't see it, plus to give their card details over the phone to a total stranger. This is totally not a norm in Malaysia not even KL, at least that was like years ago... wow.. come to think about it, its almost 10 years ago... oooerr...

So I thought with my 'would you like a jaffa cake?' or 'snacktime biscuits?' practice of rejections, I thought I have mastered it.

Well, sadly no, I guess. It was more like after a while you become like a drone, just asking for the sake of asking and don't bother about what the person says... Sad but reality.

Recently I was told that I didn't get my dream job. I was told that I was second in line and if they could hire the top three they would have and la di la... Was I disappointed? Sad? Upset? In a way I was but somehow I was numbed. I was told of how good I was and all but missed out by a few points. Still I was numbed. Maybe it was the waiting. Maybe I sort of expected for the worst.

Anyways... the point of this entry was that how do one cope with disappointment? With rejections?

Are we supposed to live life in 'the worst case scenario'? Always think things pessimistically?

In a away could it be a self defence mechanism?

Do we have to think for the worst so that it would not go any worst than what we hope for?

See, if anything 'better' happens, it will always be a relief to whatever was expected in the first place.

Sometimes I see myself being that 'worst case scenario' person. Being ahead of myself thinking of 'what ifs'.

On the other hand its not easy. Me being me, I always believed in the silver lining. The something behind every grey cloud.

Okay, there are times that I need reassurance from people close to me.

But overall isn't it better to think optimistically?

Which I know I am that person.

Which I need to find where is she.

Which I know that whatever or no matter how bad things are she will still strive and stand up to face another day.

Which no matter what she still love life, whatever the situation may be.

Friday 22 June 2007

(un)healthy meals

After having one of the best burgers on Tuesday, plus with the surplus of some food from the barbie, I planned to have some more burgers on Wednesday.

So I asked The Shrink what is he doing after work on Wednesday. He said...
'Going to the pub with YOU. Having a few drinks. Have dinner with YOU. More drinks with YOU and going home late.'

Gosh! I somehow gave him the impression that I'm that kind of person. In such a sorry state that all we ever do is go to the pub.

Weelll.... sadly the reality is that I'm in such a sorry state. And needed my therapy sessions. I don't think any other psychiatrist out there is as awsome as the one I have! hahahaa.. I'm so blessed!

Anyways, I was in a sort of mood to drown my sorrows... Hmm.. but after all the recent binge drinking and me being me, its not necessary the want will often become the action.

Back to the burgers story, so I said we'll have burgers tonight instead. While waiting for The Shrink to finish work, I managed to get hold of those yummy M&S burgers. So those non M&S standard burgers were chucked into the freezer.

We had a good dinner: burgers with potato salad and santini tomatoes, whole punnet of strawberries and finished half the bottle of gin that I had. Note to self: gin shopping. I had been encouraged lately to have more healthy meals and this was one that was really healthy, minus the gin.

Sadly, at the same time I purchased the M&S burgers I also picked up some other M&S BBQ food. So last night, I had beef kebabs with potato salad and santini tomatoes. And earlier in the day I cooked lamb shish skewers for lunch.

Cooking the food on the grill pan does give you some form of satisfaction because you see the fats coming out of the meat. However, having a kitchen without windows and an extractor fan that is not the strongest, leaves you with a flat full of food smell.

Which can be quite sickening.

Which makes you do all sorts to try to get rid of the food smell.

Which can be quite futile at times.

Which probably leaves you with more smells, a concoction of smells in the flat.

%@$*&

Not only that, having the fats splatter everywhere means more cleaning for me. I finally had my kitchen cleaned today from the fats but realised that I may just be cooking more burgers tonight. hmmm... Must cook (eat) healthy food.

At least I have the consolation that I will be having lovely king strawberries after meal tonight. Yummy!!!


Updated: Luckily I had salads for dinner and strawberries. I can sleep peacefully tonight knowing consciously I have eaten healthily. hehehe...

rotaract year end bbq 2007


Excellent people. Good weather. Yummy food. Burning camp fire.
Great outing!!!

Seaton Park

summer solstice

Today's supposed to be the longest day, where daylight is the longest, where the sun is at its northernest point. It's also the mark of the begining of summer in the northern hemisphere.

But the sun was no where to be seen. It was cloudy/misty. Warmish. But the skies were as grey as how I was feeling. Grey, not even blue... Damn weather!

But then again, it was also noted that summer solstice can also be on 22nd June. Hmmm...

Apparently a report says that Friday 22nd June is the happiest day of the year (in Britain I guess). And a doctor, Dr Cliff Arnal even came up with a happiness formula O + (N x S) + Cpm/T + He.

O = Being outdoors and outdoors activities
N = Connecting with nature
S = Socialising
Cpm = Childhood memories
T = Temperature
H = Holidays

Wait a minute... the equation doesn't really add up. I guess He = H = Holidays? Oh well... no one's perfect.

So in order for happiness, I guess I need to be outdoors particularly connecting with nature as well as socialising, doing things that bring back childhood memories which by some ways the temperature of my childhood memories plays a part in it, also I must not forget to have some holidays element in it.

Hmmm... is this possible? Or just a whole loada crap? Well, at least the recent BBQ does have some relavant elements to it

There should be certain plans for the longest daylight day of the year. More activities should be done then. But what? Then also, there should be activities planned for the happiest day of the year. What?

I should really plan ahead for things like this...

So let's just wait and see if Friday 22nd June is really the happiest day of the year...

Thursday 21 June 2007

tuesday

I love my Tuesdays. More or less every second Tuesdays. There's always something interesting that is happening. Rotaract maybe?!

Just this Tuesday, I decided to take my new bike out for a ride. Well, the bike isn't exactly new. I actually borrowed it from SH since he was going away to Dundee, so I thought well, he hasn't been using the bike and I'm needing some form of entertainment, plus Chris R said that he wants to plan to go to Orkney for a cycling trip.

Anyways, SH brought the bike over few days back. I finally decided to take it out for a spin.

The last time I was on a bike was during my trip to Japan. I remember we sort of borrowed someone's bike from the bike shed to go to Chiba New Town with my sis Suemae. Having not riden on a bike for eons I was so terrible at it. I guess maybe the fear of falling down or whatever else. But good thing about cycling in Japan is that you have purposed build cycling paths, unlike over here, the cyclist shares the same lane as the bus!!! Plus the pavements are much wider and padestrians are expected to walk on one side of the pavement so that the cyclist can go on the other.

So, my plan was to cycle to the bike shop 'round the corner to have a look at my back brakes, go to town to buy some stuff and then see SH for a while before coming home.

Truthfully, I haven't swear as much in a day as cycling on Tuesday. Every now and then the f-word would just slip out/blurted/whatever. Then there was should I be on the pavement or on the road debate. Also am I supposed to overtake the bus stopping at the lights on the right if I can't fit through the left.

I guess I was just so scared to feel anything. Most of all, I was trying to avoid falling on the busy streets! I won't be surprise drivers were possibly swearing at the nuisance that I was causing either.

SH said that I was so mad to be cycling on Union Street! Its an experience no doubt. But I need to build more stamina as well as confidence to cycle. Making swift decisions to stay on/stay off/what route to take/etc.


I need some time to recover from the shock and bum ache as well! All in all the only so called injury I had was a bruise from flying off the bike. And that was just round the corner from my door! I can see the bruise on my knee now... :(

Later, I went to the Rotaract's End of Year BBQ at Seaton Park. Sadly, at the mention of Seaton Park, many just frown or decline the invitation. You see, Seaton Park does not have a very good reputation as it is patronised by some of the not so good crowds of Aberdeen.

However, it was good enough for us as 1. James lives just around the corner from the park. 2. It is closer to most members of the club. Most not all. I lived like possibly the furthest from it.

Quoting Chris R's word to me in his email 'be there or be square' was kinda true. We all had a great time! It was great that one brave Rotarian turned up. There were possibly twelve of us turned up all in all. The site was great, at the end of Seaton Park by the River Don. It was a beautiful day considered the day before wasn't that nice.

We had four disposable BBQs, sadly one died on us. It would have been better to have more but I wasn't sure how much we really need. We had M&S burgers courtesy of SH. It was really fine burgers, didn't stick on the BBQ compared to some that I've cooked before. It's not just burgers, it's M&S burgers.

We also have sausages, prawns, chicken wings, buns/soft baps as they called it here, and some pork skewers. I think there was a good amount of food. But if we had more heat/BBQs we would have cooked all the food. And typically you get people who don't RSVP turning up. Sigh... it's the same culture everywhere!

We also build a fire gathering wood from the nearby forest/woods. The guys played some soccer or ball kicking around as well as some good old American football.

After cooking, I did my bit going to the woods to collect twigs for the fire. There wasn't much proper wood to be found either. I was so glad that there were no creatures in the woods, such as leeches (compared to forrests in Malaysia), I was only wearing shorts and slippers! It was good fun thought, brought back loads of memories of my scouting/camping days.

We cooked marshmallows by the fire. Sat around it chatting. Shared our dreams and some secrets. We started at 6:30pm and didn't leave until after midnight. It was still bright with light at 11pm. We sang Katherine her birthday song at midnight. Bade farewell to those who were leaving Aberdeen. Did our simple handover of Presidency of the club. All not in that particular order.

It was a good night no doubt. I'm putting this in our plan for next year! We should do an annual BBQ!!!

Monday 18 June 2007

father's day

Just read this week's Post Secret on Father's Day Secrets.

I guess mine would read...

I love my dad loads
But I can't bring myself
To buy him those conventional cards
That say...
'To the Best Dad...'
'To a Wonderful Dad...'
'Number One Dad..'


Happy Father's Day, Daddy...
xxx

Saturday 16 June 2007

50th post

Woohooo!!!!

I've reached my 50th post. Yaay!!! *sprinkles confetti* \O/

To mark this occasion and inspired by Alicia, this is how I feel.

Alone Again (Naturally) by Vonda Shepard

In a little while from now
If I'm not feeling any less sour
I promise myself to treat myself
And visit a nearby tower
And climbing to the top will throw myself off
In an effort to make it clear to whoever
What it's like when you're shattered
Left standing in the lurch at a church
Where people saying: "My God, that's tough"
"She stood him up"
"No point in us remaining"
"We may as well go home"
As I did on my own
Alone again, naturally

To think that only yesterday
I was cheerful, bright and gay
Looking forward to, who wouldn't do?
The role I was about to play?
But as if to knock me down
Reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch
Cut me into little pieces
Leaving me to doubt
Talk about God in His mercy
Who, if He really does exist,
Why did He desert me?
In my hour of need
I truly am indeed
Alone again, naturally

It seems to me that there are more hearts
Broken in the world that can't be mended
Left unattended
What do we do? What do we do?

Alone again, naturally

best ever pub crawl!!!

Take two person.
Need good legs and stomach.
Spontaneity helps a lot!
Aim to go and enjoy.
Have fun.
You'll get a great pub crawl.

What started as a drink after work then lead to a stop for food.

Which later lead to 'Why not lets do a pub crawl? I've never really done a proper one before.'

'Yeah, why not?'

The plan: go down one way of Union Street and come back up the other way.

So we started out from:
1. The College. 1 pint of San Miguel.
2. Justice Mill. 1 bottle of Magners. Nachos and chips to share.
3. The Howff. 1 bottle of Magners.
4. Soul Bar. 1 double Gin and Tonic.
5. Archibalds Simpson. 1 double Gin and Tonic. (Girl who made the G&T claimed that she makes the best one around.)
6. Illicit Still. 1 double Gin and Tonic.


Sadly it was too late, so we didn't get to go to RGU:Union (cheap drinks!) and Prince of Wales.

We had so much fun. It was the best time I ever had for in a while now.

We drank. We ate.
We laugh. I teared.
He listened. I talked.
He talked. I try not to interrupt.
Above all the noise we were shouting at each other!

On top of it all I was carrying fish and chips since lunch in my handbag! Mental!!!

He walked me home. How sweet!!! Awww...

Only to realised that why didn't we pick up food along the way?

Rummaged through the cupboards and heat up some soup and frozen pitta bread.

We chatted more. I poured more. He critised more. I mean, he gave his opinions.

Until we can't chat no more. And fell asleep, snoring like nobody's business because of the booze.

We are so lucky that after the concoction of drinks. We didn't have any hangover.

The process of walking home when day break has to be done.

And me? I just crawl into bed. For another 4 hours of slumber with Horace.

Thank you so much, my BFF!!! xx

Friday 15 June 2007

down south: day one - the journey

My bags were all almost packed by last Friday.

I was going on a trip.

A last minute (sort of) decision.

Weeeellll... The long story of it was that Claire whom I started emailing a few weeks back, asked if I would like to go to the council meeting in High Wycombe in place of Gillian who will be away to India, who is the District Chairman of 1010 which my club is in the same district. I wrote back to Claire, whom at that time I still have not met, High Wycombe? But that is down south. Let me think about it. She came back to me telling me that High Wycombe is all paid for darling. Yup those were her words, well the main words.

Paid for?! Is all you need to hear of any trip. After some contemplation, I quickly booked my transport (flights and connecting train) over the internet so that I can get affordable seats and to save whoever is going to pay the tickets some money. Since I was going to be in the proximity of London, my flight was going to land in Luton which is less than an hour by train away from London and High Wycombe was about half an hour from London, I might as well stay and see my cousin who was complaining that I don't visit her (nah... she was just wondering when am I ever going to visit her).

Oooh... was I excited!

Which by the way, increased my expenses for the last month: adventure to Edinburgh, Edinburgh's club charter night, and now High Wycombe, which includes High Wycombe's 30th Charter (in Malaysia we say Installation) on Saturday, Rotaract in Great Britain and Ireland (RGBI) Council Meeting on Sunday, as well as my other expenses while in London. On top of that, I did quite a bit of shopping and food/drinks/'entertainment' expenses the last month too. Not helping was that the company decides to cut back on extra hours.

Anyways...

SH dropped me at the airport. I was thinking that checking in an hour before flight which is only 20 minutes considering that check in closes 40 minutes before take off, was sufficient. Consider, I have only one luggage, which can go in as hand luggage if I wanted to but didn't cos I didn't pack my liquids in a clear re-sealable bag as required, and I thought it was a bit of a hassle. Boy, was I wrong! There were queues and I have not seen the airport as busy as this. So I went into the line just to find out that the queue didn't start there but actually further up. There was a big gap there for people to pass. Ooops!

Later I found out that the check in counter opened half an hour later than scheduled.

By the time I checked in, it was about the time when the scheduled check in closes. But there was still a queue.

After passing through security check, bought some choccies for Lisa who was hosting me in High Wycombe I sat nicely reading my book. I was very ambitious and brought not one but two books, just in case I finished one I have another for back up. So I started reading Marian Keyes's Anybody Out There.

As time passes, we were all wondering why there was no call for our flight. There was no plane in sight. Everyone was anxious. I had a quick check with my train tickets to double check even I know it was open ticket and I was very thankful that it was an open ticket. Finally there was an announcement: the flight was delayed for an hour!

When the big white plane with the orange words easyjet.com emblazoned on its side landed, a fan fare almost broke out at the gate. Finally we were on our way!

Later it was revealed that some delay somewhere along the line has caused the delay to my flight.

...to be continued...

Thursday 14 June 2007

lazy

So lazy
Just wanna have a nap
Beautiful day out there
Strong chemical smell in here
I think I'm getting light headed

Should I indulge
Have a nap out in the sun
Before I slave myself at work

Slave you say
Skive more like it

Tuesday 12 June 2007

i'm back

Just got back from my wee trip to London...
Will blog about it when I do it...
:P

p.s.: Just to let you know The Shrink, my plane didn't crash. Otherwise I won't be blogging this. You crazy bugger! :P:P:P At least I know you 'cared'. hahahaha...

Saturday 9 June 2007

untitled

No one cares but you
I've been here too many times
I feel like I'm stuck in the mud
Or am I sinking in quick sand
I see your hands
Stretching out to me
But I just can't grab hold of it
Am I slipping away
Will I be here another day

Friday 8 June 2007

glutton for punishment

Having not enough sleep is taking its toll on my skin.

I had never believe in things like this. However, my body begs to differ. Guess I can't cheat myself eh?

Sometimes I really wonder why I don't go to bed when I really should.

I spend waaaaay to much time online. Sort of. (Denial!!!)

Okay I do spend a lot of time online. But I multi-task it with watching tv...

Hmmm... I'm still digging my grave yeah?

But then I sort of compensate it with lying in.

Still not an excuse I guess...

Should spend my time doing more productive stuff.

Like what?!

I need help...

Wednesday 6 June 2007

wrap up (prologue)

Yesterday we had our last Rotaract meeting proper for the year.

It was good as we summed up our weekend activities.

At the Pub Quiz we raised £120 which was a good achievement.

A group of us went to Edinburgh as a club for the Rotaract Club of Edinburgh's Charter Night.

Felix did a presentation on the Rotary Ambassadorial Scholarship.

We will be having a social BBQ to mark the end of year, celebrating our year's achievement, dismissing the current board and welcoming our new board. Should be a good event. It's in two weeks time! Yaaay!!!

After the meeting, we went together as a group for dinner at Slain's Castle and then to James's to watch DVD.

Good choice of movie though. For his birthday James received the Déjà Vu DVD as his present. I didn't know what we were watching so it was good to watch a movie without much expectation.

Déjà Vu is a really good movie and I'm so glad that we watch it in a group. Yeah, those who know me knows that I don't really a. go watch movie in a group and b. discuss a movie in mid-screening. Nontheless it was really good. Am so pleased. And as usual Danzel Washington was excellent as the lead actor. Val Kilmer had so much weight on him.

Go watch the movie if you have not! HURRY!!!

Drinks log: I've been good, so its just one pint of Guiness Extra Cold

wake up and smell the coffee?!

Was coffee served that I didn't know?
Did I had a block nose?
Am I ignoring the coffee?

Tuesday 5 June 2007

vegetate

Work was busy but still kinda draggy. The new flower ordering system went on live today (Monday). Was pleased that I managed to do at least an order. Will take a while to get pro on it... well a short while.

Anyways, whoever want to order flowers please do so online yourself so that we will have less hassle. Transfering of responsibilities... hehehe...

Did some 'impulsive' shopping after work and tried quite hard to bring up the total to above £50 so that I can get free delivery. Do I need the stuff? Maybe not half of it. Sad case.

Gave a little thought to what I wanted to do after that... am just so missing SH. He is so busy. -_- But then I have to learn to enjoy me time. What to do?!

So I thought why not watch some movies online and do what I do best, vegetate in front of the computer? And then it was what shall I watch??? Amongst one that came to mind was 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind'. Heard so much about it. Too bad I couldn't watch it. Need to find out why.

So I pulled up my Ikea Pello armchair, tilted my hp 19" screen and thought 'hey why didn't I ever thought about that before'. So my new computer chair is the armchair. Currently with a nice fluffy feather pillow for additional support. Ahh.. this is life...

I've always wanted to watch 'Brokeback Mountain' to find out whats so great about this movie. It takes such a long time to stream. So while waiting, I managed to watch 'The Break Up' and then the penultimate episode of 'Prison Break' on tv, yet the streaming wasn't complete. I did watched the movie in between, still the streaming was slow. So read the whole of Adam Carruthers's blog while sorta watching 'Maybe Baby'.

'Brokeback Mountain'. Hmm... such a highly acclaimed movie which seemed a big disappointment for me. Besides the scenic scenes, nice closing songs and the really really nice guitar playing by Gustavo Santaolalla, I find the story quite draggy. Maybe I need the watch this movie again? Like in a long long Long LONG more time in future?

'The Break Up' was almost as bad as 'Brokeback'. Okay, the fighting, arguing and scheming scenes are quite entertaining, so to say. But the ending was like wtf?! You call that an ending??!!!

Sadly 'Prison Break' is coming to the end of its season two. I really wonder will it end there?

Next I will probably or maybe need to invest in a wireless keyboard and mouse so that I can continue to enjoy typing with the keyboard on my lap. Oooh...

Speaking of which, I remember Microsoft had this wireless keyboard and mouse set that provides fingerprint id. When I first saw it, I asked SH why do you need a keyboard with fingerprint id? Its just so OTT!

Well off to bed now, its already 3:30am. Need to do some useful stuff tomorrow.

Monday 4 June 2007

edinburgher

Pronounced as eh-din-bur-ger, is someone from Edinburgh. I've always wanted to know that and I finally found out. So chuffed!

Aberdeen = Aberdonian
Glasgow = Glaswegien
Inverness = Invernesian
Orkney = Orcadian


Last weekend was a really nice and busy one.


Friday. Rotaract Club of Aberdeen's 2nd Charity Pub Quiz. We were raising funds for James's Rwanda missions development trip and Emma's Spring Valley school in Kenya. Where both of them are going out to this summer respectively.

And as usual something has to go 'wrong'. Sort of...

The day before...
ennazus: Don't forget to prepare the answer sheets for the pub quiz ok?
James: Yup I remember that.

On the night...
ennazus: Where's the answer sheets?
James: Oh ****! I thought so I forgotten something!
ennazus: ...

But then a really nice guy, Iain came to our rescue! We are so ever thankful!!!

One thing I was pleased with, was my team wasn't last place. Well, we were scraping last almost two-thirds of the way but redeemed ourselves and got... second last place.. hahahahaha... at least we were not last! Too bad SH was not feeling well, otherwise I would think we will be at a higher position. -_-

I won two raffle prizes which I was the raffles draw-er. So what else would there be said? 'FIXED!'

Hey I can't help it if I was lucky eh?

After the quiz, some of us stayed back for a few drinks. Not long after that...
ennazus: Is that the fire alarm?
Barry: Hmm... sounds like it.

And yes indeed it was the fire alarm. So...

Grab belongings. Check.

Grab drinks. Check.

ennazus: I wasn't sure if that was the fire alarm.
Barry: Yeah, I thought it was part of the music.
ennazus: Yeah, me too.

hahaha... of course it was illegal to drink on the roadside. So the Union guys were there collecting everyone's glasses. Luckily we didn't have much left though...


I had two members of the Edinburgh club staying over at my flat. They were really nice, Julia and Barry. There was supposed to be four of them but Claire couldn't make it last minute and someone missed the train. And as always it is good to have people staying over. We stayed up chatting until 3am and then went to bed as most of us were tired.

Drink log: two pints of Strongbow and two pints of Guiness Extra Cold

Saturday. Woke up and chatted with Julia in bed. How cool is that? The three of us then chatted more whilst getting ready. It was funny watching Barry contemplating to shower/shave his head/shave his face. Again, great company for the morning.

We then went to the train station as both of them have to catch the train back to Edinburgh to prepare for their club's charter night. I then went shopping for a pair of shoes for the function as the two pairs of shoes I bought online still have not arrived!

Just my luck when I reached home there was a calling card telling me that the people did try to deliver my parcel but no one was home. Great! Just great! But then no regrets about the shoe. Will tell more about it later.

So hang around my computer, chatted with American Chris about the night before and what time the gang was meeting up with James. Packed, got ready and go to our rendezvous for our journey to Edinburgh.

We then finally left Aberdeen almost 6pm for our drive down to Edinburgh. Five of us (James, Chris, Jennifer, Felix and I) in James's little blue Peugeot which by the way I have a great respect for. We arrived at the venue in Edinburgh at 8pm. The function was supposed to be 7:30pm for 8pm.

As we get on the motorway...
James: Do you know where the place is?
ennazus: I asked you the other day if you needed the directions and you said you were going to sort it out. So I didn't find it.
James: I had too much to do and I forgotten.

Once again, the mobile internet came to our rescue! Quick text to Barry for the address and upon 'Googling' it, there was the option of downloading Google Mobile Map for Nokia N70. Ooooh... The program is just so ace! We used it to find our way to Merchants of Edinburgh Golf Club and then later to Claire's beautiful huge flat where many of us crashed at.

On the way to the venue...
James: Where now?
ennazus: Take the third exit at the roundabout.
James: The what?!
ennzaus: Third exit.
James: The THIRD exit?! It sounds like something else.
ennazus: Turd?
James: You are not allowed to say third anymore. Say 'exit three'.
ennazus: ...

As it was a black tie event, guys were preferbly dressed in kilts and Chris refused to sit in the car for two hours in his smart clothes. So he has to change on the street just in front of someone's house! Well, I don't care if you are reading this Chris... But what an exhibitionist! hahahaha... No worries, there was nothing indecent about it.

Barry called my phone and check where we were and I said 'we were just outside'. Nonetheless we were the last to arrive but not least. Many episodes unfolds. As serious as I am a person, I am so glad we are a fun bunch. The Aberdeen club brought some secret humour (where only the four of us shares - sorry Felix) to the event.

So after some speeches, fancy dinner and event proper, the best part starts: the céilidh! It is one of my favourite Scottish 'invention' ever! Too bad it was quite short. -_¬

On the way I had a brief discussion with Jen on certain steps for a certain dance and I was so pleased that I got it right when the time comes. Anyways, I am so proud of my pretty and comfortable shoes. Even though I only did two dances *sad*sad* I was wearing my shoes the whole time and it didn't 'bite' me!


Even after the wandering about almost half of Edinburgh after the event looking for a club that was decent, my feet didn't blister. How great is that?! And still my shoes looked good, besides a few diamante missing. Of course, sadly I think I will be remembered as the one kept moaning about going to the toilet... And dropping the pizza on the sidewalk after Chris and I took a slice each from the eight slices. Whoops!

We also saw some firemen in action after someone decided to put a ciggie in a bin... Jen said the bin was melted.

Then it was back to the flat. We were so tired. As everyone fell asleep Chris and I were whispering there about... (I'm so going to be strangled!!!) I counted there were eight of us in the bedroom! And easily there were twenty of us in the flat. What would health and safety compliance say about this? Hey! but it was really fun.

Morning was a ruckus. Everyone going for the toilet. We later received great hospitality from Claire's parent's at their house and a good breakfast.

After breakfast we left Felix in Edinburgh and headed up the road. We stopped by at James's parent's home in Kinross, where we met his parents and sister. They were such nice people! Of course their home and garden was lovely as well.

Not long it was home time. Reached home, had a nap before going to James's and Jen's church just at the back of my flat for their first youth service.

All in all it was great weekend!

Saturday and Sunday's drink log: one dodgy glass of red sparkling wine (eewww - don't ever try that), glass of white wine, three bottles of Magners, too many cups of tea and a few cups of coffee.

After so many cups of tea and coffee, I can't stop having the feeling that I need to constantly brush my teeth.

Saturday 2 June 2007

half way there



Like it or not the half year mark has crept up on us.

Shows how fast time flies and makes us ponder what have we been doing for the past 26 weeks?

The Millennium Clock Tower in the National Museum of Scotland captured my eye last weekend.

The project combines the skills of the automata maker, the clock maker, the decorative glass maker and the woodworker; to celebrate the second millennium and expresses all the hopes and fears of the 20th century. It is a creation that talks of love, hate, play, humour, despair, life and death.

Interesting how art can depict life.

The clock is constructed in four major sections: the Crypt, the Nave, the Belfry, and the Spire; each carries different meanings of life.

From the base where the Crypt lies, signifies the base of society, earthly powers and the imprisoned Ancient Spirit.

The Nave is one interesting part where people live, love and die. It is the playground of people with great creative intellect but also of people like us who go about our everyday life of work, love and play, unaware of the threats that may befall us.

The heart of the tower, the Belfry houses the mechanism of the clock, the clock face, and the requiem. The clock face reflects the cycle of life, with its black moments, grey moments and a ray of sunshine. Not forgetting the requiem which consists of a circle of carved figures, represnting various hardships and tragedies that have afflicted humanity and is dedicated to all victims of the past centuries.

All is not doom and bleak though. The Spire represents man penetrating the sky to reach Heaven. The outside burnt wood but inside intact and richly inlaid floor suggests hope and survival. The Pietà onto of the clock sums up the world of the clock tower: the sadness of the one left behind and the courage it takes to carry on.

I wonder what the next 26 weeks is going to hold for me?

Certain excerpts taken from The Millennium Clock Tower flyer produced by The Millennium Clock Makers Trust.

Friday 1 June 2007

confused being

It has been a while since I last heard this song and they had it on my favourite radio station - Virgin Radio.

I'm not sure how much this song relates to me. But there are some truth in it. Somehow. Or at least I want to believe.

Bitch by Meredith Brooks

I hate the world today
You're so good to me
I know but I can't change
Tried to tell you
But you look at me like maybe
I'm an angel underneath
Innocent and sweet

Yesterday I cried
Must have been relieved to see
The softer side
I can understand how you'd be so confused
I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything
All rolled into one

Chorus:
I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

So take me as I am
This may mean
You'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that
When I start to make you nervous
And I'm going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change
And today won't mean a thing

Chorus

Just when you think, you got me figured out
The season's already changing
I think it's cool, you do what you do
And don't try to save me

Chorus

I'm a bitch, I'm a tease
I'm a goddess on my knees
When you hurt, when you suffer
I'm your angel undercover
I've been numb, I'm revived
Can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it any other way

epic adventure collage

For some reasons I cannot have this pic in my epic adventure post. Okay I guess the reason was the pic was too big to upload. So here it is...